Spice Things Up – Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Don't get trapped in your comfort zone. Photo courtesy of Millenial Branding

Traditions are very endearing to a lot of people. I, myself, find a lot of value in traditional ways of doing things, especially when it comes to romance. This week’s blog is about breaking tradition and really stepping outside of, what I’m sure, is a very comfortable zone for a lot of people.

I’m talking about Date Night. Every book that has ever been written on relationships tells us that couples, especially married couples with kids, should set aside a night each week (or month, depending on how much you really like each other) to go out on the town and have some alone time. That is very sound advice and can be invaluable to busy couples. This idea takes Date Night in a different direction.

As your reading, keep in mind that in order for this to be effective, you might want to talk with your significant other about her opinion on role playing. I don’t mean role playing in the bedroom sense – although things can definitely head in that direction if you play your cards right.

The first thing you need to do (once you’re sure your partner is comfortable) is pick a random night. Don’t tell her when this will go down, because it will take away from the surprise of the night. You will need to plan your day accordingly once you know when you want to have the Date Night that is different from any other. If you have the luxury, go to her office and leave a note on the windshield of her car instructing her to meet you at a restaurant at a particular time.

Only it’s not “you” that she will be meeting. You will be a complete stranger whom she has never before met. The real you, will be working late or out of town on business.

The key to making this fun is to avoid places that you have gone as a couple. It can be difficult to stay in character in familiar surroundings. If you have the means, springing for a hotel that night will only add to the fun. Spend the evening acting as complete strangers. If you prefer, she can be the “other woman” and you can be the real you. Or you can both take on alternate identities and simply agree to meet at a random bar at a random time.

However the roles are distributed, the idea is to do something wrong and dirty without really doing anything wrong and dirty. Have an affair with yourselves every so often. It may be uncomfortable at first. Perhaps you won’t be able to stop laughing at how silly the two of you are acting.

That’s okay. Just because you’re married or in a serious relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t afford to laugh at yourselves and each other.

Have fun! See you next time!





Before you say anything… yes, I’m aware that it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted on here. Forgive me – I beg you.

You see, I’ve been hard at work trying to follow the advice that I’ve offered here and working on my book that is a more complete guide to dating for men. A lot of my ideas seem to go over extremely well; especially with my girlfriend. She is, indirectly, part of the reason for my absence.

The woman for whom I moved half way up the eastern seaboard. Photo courtesy of Brownlee's Portrait Cottage.

For those who don’t know, we lived in separate states for awhile. She in PA and I in NC. I recently moved to be with her. Anyone who has ever moved knows what a pain it can be. But now I’m back! Don’t fret too much. I will stay true to form and attempt to assist you in your never-ending courtship.

Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers. Every day is a day for lovers in my humble opinion, but that is the one day of the year where even the most boneheaded, ignorant men are wise enough to do something for their partner. I like to take traditional ideas and add a little something to them.

For Tina, I took the liberty of giving her a single rose for the entire week leading up to V-Day. Each day was celebrated by a different color rose and a note explaining the meaning of that particular color as well as how it applied to us. As a way to step a little further away from tradition, I had the rose waiting in the mailbox for her every evening as she came home from work. As a finishing touch, I had yet another flower awaiting her return for the day after Valentine’s.

But it wasn’t a rose. I had presented her with an orchid at work not too long ago and she was constantly gushing about how much she loved it. So I took the initiative and got one for our home as well; included was a note that read, “Just Because.”

My advice for this week is in keeping the idea to celebrate love, not only on Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year. Remember that the courtship never ends. Even in marriage, the only thing you ever win is the opportunity to continue doing exactly what you did in the beginning to earn her attention.

If you’re having trouble finding inspiration, please follow @jabsloveletters on Twitter. She has mastered the art of celebrating every love, every day.

Until next time…(I promise it won’t be as long this time)